20 June 2015
Lilly & NIK tied the knot in June. A full recap coming up this summer. But in the meantime — I wanted to share with you (and them!) the written words of my wedding day speech. To set the stage: Katie and I delivered two toasts, but we stood with each other. It was so comforting and wonderful to have her by my side. (I was pretty nervous.)
Lilly & NIK – holy cow. Congratulations just does not express my joy for the two of you.
I firmly believe that dancing to a favorite song alone or with a few close friends is an expression of pure joy. So right now…I am feeling like Elizabeth Shue at the beginning of Adventures in Babysitting when she dances to the song Then He Kissed Me and Hugh Grant in Love Actually when he rocks out to the Pointer Sisters, Jump for My Love.
It is that kind of joy. Congratulations.
We met freshman year in college, but I think we collectively agree the moment we fell in love was February of our sophomore year. Somehow — I wish I could remember the details — you ended up in my dorm room with your craft box (the most incredible craft box I had ever seen) and we decided to make Valentine’s Day cards for lots of our friends.
There was some foreshadowing in that evening:
Today, 15 years later, I have a box of cards, notes, printed emails and post-it notes from you. Fifteen years of celebration, love, comfort and friendship. The box is a physical representation of your consistent love — which manifests as small tiny touches of thoughtfulness.
Recently I was combing through the box and found a homemade door hanger you left me. There was a pocket for a CD. I must have been going on a trip and you burned me a CD. When I found it… I thought…of course she did that.
So often in NYC, when we had dinner plans you would anticipate that I was stressed about leaving work and stressed about being late. I would get a simple text message: don’t worry if you are running late. You knew I was worried. And you didn’t want me to. (If you could send me a text message right now it would read: Don’t worry people find this interesting.)
Lilly loves just like that. Always.
If you have ever taken a long walk with Lilly and the conversation falls silent for a little while, she will just say: oh hey. I used to not quite understand it…but now I think of it as a Lilly moment. Just passing on a little bit of love whenever it makes sense.
As some friends here know, Lil – all on her own – made our summers in NYC (06 07, 08 and 09) organized and epic. Each summer, Lil planned our beach or lake house rental. She searched for the rentals long before we were thinking about summer. Visited the houses to make a sound decision. Fronted the money. And gently reminded us to pay her back. She laid the foundation for all the fun.
We all have our love-to-tell, embarrassing stories from those summers, but as I thought about Lilly, one very small vivid moment came to mind: We are in the kitchen at our lake house in CT. You are making the most beautiful sandwich I had ever seen. A perfectly toasted English muffin, a burger from the night before. An egg, over-easy. Some avocado and tomato slices to top it off. All it took was a glance and you grabbed 2 plates and handed me half.
In friendships and family, you have always taken care with those consistent touches of love…never looking for reply or thank you. You do that for me and Katie and so many others.
As Dar Williams sings: I act like I have faith and like that faith never ends, but I really just have friends. Lil – I have you.
And even more than friendship, as someone who doesn’t have a sister, you have shown me what sisterhood is all about. I’m so thankful. And so lucky.
Nik – or as I love to call you – N.I.K,
During the time that Lil met you, I thought I knew what Lil needed in love.
Someone who makes her laugh. Someone who could hold his own with her in an argument or debate. (She is quite good at making her point.) Someone who loves discovering NYC restaurants as much as she does. Someone who loved her back just like she loves all the people in her life. My expectations were so high. I didn’t know you existed. But you do. And so much more than I could imagine for Lilly. I literally love you for the way you love her.
As many of you probably know – Lilly and NIK used to both travel A LOT. They started a routine of leaving love post-it notes for each other in funny places throughout the apartment. Whenever I see them in their apartment, it reminds me, what Lil has taught me: take time to love.
Instead of a traditional toast, we are going to close with a song. And dance our way over to you. Because we are that kind of happy for you.